Wednesday, July 21, 2010

THAT 1st Time Mom

One of my best friends in the entire world delivered a bouncing baby boy two days ago.  Yesterday I left work early and couldn’t get to the hospital fast enough to see her and meet him for the very first time. During my 20 minute drive I engaged myself in a little pep talk that went a little something like this… “Amy you are not going to leave there thinking you are going to want another baby, you’re NOT! But if I was to get pregnant now, they would be almost two years apart. You can’t have another baby right now, my lord, think about it. Baby E is eating real-people food now, and I don’t have to buy her formula anymore, I don’t care how cute he is, how good he smells, how adorable this little fingers and toes will be, you are not having another one right now”. Yeah, this went on for 20 minutes…

Once I got to the hospital and saw him for the first time, he was everything I knew he would be. Perfect! He had a perfect little round head, precious little hands and feet, and when you picked him up, his little legs curled under his body making him into this teeny tiny ball of human. And then I got a flash back!!

Flash backs of being totally and completely clueless, questioning my every decision and move! To give a pacifier or not to give a pacifier (trust me, that was a HUGE source of anxiety for me), the late nights, will she sleep for two hours or four, do I wake her up if she sleeps longer than four? Should I take a shower now, or wait till someone can come over and watch her? I had an orange for breakfast do you think it was too acidic and that is why she keeps spitting up (I breast fed)? Is it against the law to let you baby sleep in a swing? What if it is the ONLY place she will nap? She doesn’t like to cuddle, does that mean I am not nurturing her enough… I will stop there as I can feel my face getting red and my body starting to shake. Trust me; I was THAT 1st time Mom…

Everyone says that the second one is ‘so much easier’, labor wise and Mommy wise; as in you sort of have an idea what to expect and what you are doing, and I buy into that to a degree. During my Mommy journey thus far, I have found it to be the most rewarding, challenging, empowering, helpless, heart-warming, heart-wrenching, independent, dependent, assuring, and confusing adventure I have ever been on. And maybe with our next one that journey will have more pavement and less potholes, but I just don’t think we are ready for that next trip quite yet,  we are just having way too much fun with the one we are on right now.

And because posts are better with pictures, here are some pictures I found the other day of my baby nephew who is now two and half, boy how fast time flies.

“Pssst, But Amy I think you are ready for that next one" – there is that damn voice again…


  1. Oh how I agree with everything you just said! I am quite in love with this particular blog (because thats my baby boy in the pics) TEARS how did he grow so fast??! Being a mom of two I will tell you very few of your worries go away...HOWEVER your questions do already have answers...and you brought me back with the "is it agianst the law for a baby to nap in a swing" because I do so remember Baby Ellie Pie LOVING HER SWING! Personally I think 2 years is a great age apart...selfishly because I want you to have another baby!! BUT mostly because mine are 4 years apart so I know they will not experience some things together but no matter what you chose the sibling bond (as you know) will be unbreakable no matter what the age!

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  3. It is true, sibling bonds last 4-ever!!!!!!!!!!! It is something u can always rely on. Especially in our family.

  4. You are ready! Another child deserves every good thing you have to give =)

  5. Amy, Amy, Amy. With work, house work included, there is such a thing as spreading yourself too thin - not so with children. As parents we always have more to give. Always. There is no right or wrong amount of time between children, just like there is no right amount of children. I would have liked to have had five. If I hadn't lost the twins and had a near death experience in the process, I would not have stopped until 5 or so (maxing out a van). Adopting my two, halfway around the world, and having to live there for a couple of months meant five was never going to happen. You will know when to add more to your family, the only advice I can give is don't wait until all your cupboard space has returned to normal. Once the sippy cups go out it is very hard to bring them back in, that and all the other stuff filling your house right now. By the way, tell your Mom I am very glad she had you. Carolina


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