Today IT happened. I knew it would happen one day, I just wasn't expecting it to come so soon. Looking back, I can't believe I was so naive to think it would never happen to me, but it did.
It all went down on our way home from daycare. The drive began like every other ride home with some bribing to get into the car, followed by 'can you hold on to this' in an effort to divert attention away from yet another car seat strapping in battle, lastly a package of fruit snacks was opened, I started the car and we were homeward bound. I turned on radio and wouldn't you know it, one of my favorite songs was just beginning, so what did I do? What any other music lovin' Momma would do; I cranked it up!! I looked in my rear view mirror to see my little beat-boppin baby nodding her head in rhythm with the music. That's my girl!!
I wait for the intro to finish and then knowing what is coming next, wait for it, wait for it... "She's a hot little number in her pick up truck, Daddy's sweet money done..." When all of a sudden, I am interrupted by my little baby beat in the back seat yelling "No!!" I look in the mirror expecting to see something amiss, to my surprise everything looks good, so I continue "She's a raging cajun, a lunatic from
Brunswick, juicy Georgia..." when I am interrupted again "NOOOOOO!!" Whhhhat!?!? I think to myself and look in the mirror, only this time that little head that was once bouncing up and down to the beat of the music is now thrashing side to side! "What?" I ask. Her reply was a loud drawn out "NOOO" complete with her little index finger pointed... at me. I look ahead assuming she is pointing at something in the windshield, but the only thing I see is a pothole ridden road. I pick up where I left off "She's country, from the songs she plays to the prayers she prays," for the third time I am rudely interrupted, only this time with a "Momma, TOP IT!"
GASP!!
There must be some confusion here; my own flesh and blood could not possibly be telling me to... I can't even type it... stop singing! She loooves my singing, I mean who doesn't? Okay, so I can immediately think of a few dozen people who don't, but my own daughter?! NO! So I test her one more time "She's all about the..." Yep, cut off again by a blood curdling scream from the back seat and just like that, like stone around a patio, I am crushed.
I guess this is pay back as I can think of a few times when I told my Mom to stop singing, but I was like 8 and she was being totally embarrassing. I mean, what if the complete strangers in the next car over heard her?? And now look at me, I have a two year old who can't even recite the alphabet and probably never will because I am not allowed to sing to her and she is already telling me to stop singing. Sigh...
Friday, May 13, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Looking Forward
A few Friday's ago, I posted the question "What are you looking forward to?", I received a few responses, one in particular was from Carolina from The Muse of the Day who said: "Amy - don't you think YOU should comment as well and answer your own question? I, for one, would like to know your answer. Carolina" Well, Carolina, your wish is my command and here, in no particular order, are some things I am looking forward to.
So there, in no particular order are somethings I am looking forward to. The only down side to looking forward to something is that we are, in a since, wishing time away. I heard this great quote from the turtle in Kung Fu Panda (I can't remember his name) which really struck a cord with me and is mildly appropriate for this post.
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."
Enjoy today and everyday! Happy Tuesday!
The End of Black Fly Season:
Seeing this bike surrounded by flowers:
My bee-hind plopped in one of these on Moosehead Lake:
(these are boat seats)
My husband making up his mind; charcoal or gas?
EJB growing into shoes that I can borrow:
An upcoming Birthday Party and BBQ!!
Watching more memory making miles rack up on this truck:
When the motor from this truck:
Goes into this truck, so my driveway no longer looks like a
used junk truck lot...
Meeting my new baby niece:
Beginning a new project:
So there, in no particular order are somethings I am looking forward to. The only down side to looking forward to something is that we are, in a since, wishing time away. I heard this great quote from the turtle in Kung Fu Panda (I can't remember his name) which really struck a cord with me and is mildly appropriate for this post.
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."
Enjoy today and everyday! Happy Tuesday!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Hugs & Shrugs, Mother's Day Edition
HUGS: 1) No longer needing an excuse to buy Handi-Snacks! 2) Pats on the back; when they come from your child it's reassurance you are doing a good job, 3) The reason I get to celebrate this day; my beautiful, funny, talented, sometimes manipulating, smart, wonderful, the best thing that has ever happened to me, daughter!
SHRUGS: 1) No matter how big or how small, never, never, never being able to finish a cup of coffee, 2) Baby/toddler socks; seriously where do they all go??, 3) Rips in the diaper genie bags... when a rip has ripped, my entire house smells like a State Park outhouse on the hottest day in August!
Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing Mom's that read my blog!
SHRUGS: 1) No matter how big or how small, never, never, never being able to finish a cup of coffee, 2) Baby/toddler socks; seriously where do they all go??, 3) Rips in the diaper genie bags... when a rip has ripped, my entire house smells like a State Park outhouse on the hottest day in August!
Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful, wonderful, amazing Mom's that read my blog!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
What is That?!
So I am going to come clean as to where I have been the last couple of weeks. I wish I would be confessing the GPS coordinates of a top secret tropical island or that I could type that I hit the Powerball and have been shopping my life away, but I haven’t. For the last three weeks, I have been on a roller coaster ride I hope none of you ever have to pay admission for.
Some of you already know what I am going to type, you found our through me or from someone who thought it was their story to tell, some of you will be reading the details for the first time, I am sorry that I didn’t call you and tell you myself, but the thought making more than three calls having to tell this story over and over and tell you ‘I don’t know’ to all your questions, was and is too much to bear. So here I go.
Three weeks ago I made an appointment with my Dr. to discuss some pain I have been experiencing in my left knee. Back in high school I had two knee surgeries to remove loose bodies, so naturally I internally concluded this was the same issue, I would need a simple day surgery to have them removed, I would be out of commission for a couple days, and that would be it. My Dr. seemed to agree and referred me to the same Orthopedic Dr who performed my last two surgeries. The following week I had an appointment with the Orthopedic who reviewed my chart, felt around my knee cap, asked about my pain, which I described as a dull pain I would feel behind my knee cap when climbing stairs, sometimes when I walked, and definitely when I was shaking my groove thing with Miss. E in the living room.
He too had pretty much reached the same conclusion I had, but sent me for an x-ray just the same. So I moseyed on over to the next room and had some x-rays done. Went back into his room to review them (I have to chime in here and just comment on how awesome that is, instant x-rays!). So we sat there together and looked at the x-rays on the monitor. He kept zooming in on what looked like a ‘whiter’ spot on my bone. I asked ‘”what’s that?” to which he responded “I don’t know, but I am going to send you for an MRI so we can find out.” Still no reason to pull the alarm, so we scheduled the MRI for that Friday and scheduled a follow up to go over the MRI for the following week.
So the following week comes and next thing I know it’s time for my follow up appointment. I get out of bed the same way I do everyday, get ready, drop E off at daycare, my car breaks down in the driveway at daycare, I catch a ride in town with one of the Mom’s from daycare, and I am sitting at the Dr.’s office waiting for them to call my name. I sit there mad at my car, cursing my decision to wear shirt I put on, wondering whether or not I took the chicken out of the freezer before I left, how am I going to get home, and then they call my name.
I enter the same little room I was in before and the same Dr. comes in, looks at me and goes “why are you here”, haha not really, but I tell him and he logs on the computer and brings up my MRI. I am sitting beside the computer monitor and am trying to look at the screen out of the corner of my eye. Now, I am no bone doctor, but what I saw on that screen I knew… was not right and by the way he scratched his head and kept clicking on the screen, I knew the thought the same thing.
So I asked what any of you would have asked, ‘what is that?!’ what he responded with ripped the stomach out of my body and smacked me upside the face with a 2”X6”. “You have a tumor in your femur bone.” He went on to talk about the location of the tumor in my bone, biopsy, and then he used the “C” word... it's all fun and games until someone pulls out the "C" word. No, not that “C” word, jesh, you kiss your Momma with that mouth!! Cancer.
Just like that, done, D.O.N.E.. I was done. Checked out, bill please… Just like that, my world changed forever - cancer. In that split second I couldn’t have told you what I had on, what kind of car I drove (or didn’t drive) and if you asked me about supper I would have just stared at you totally blank. Cancer.
After I came back to, I heard the Dr. say that he was going to refer me to another Orthopedic in his office for a second opinion because to be quite frank, he said he hasn’t seem many of these. Gave me my papers and I walked out of the office. (yes, I made arrangements to get back to work and thankfully my Mom drove me home after work.)
I said this earlier, I am no Dr. but if I was, after telling a patient they have a tumor in their bone, I would immediately contact their internet service provider and insist on their internet connection be terminated until a proper diagnosis has been made. In a time like that, google + finger tips = the devil!
I had an appointment with the second Orthopedic who went over the MRI with me and gave me some more information. He did point out that the tumor had a nice black ‘wall’ around it, which indicated that it was slow growing and that cancerous tumors typically have ‘tentacles’ that reach out. Mine didn’t have any of that - phew! After seeing the MRI for the second time on the screen, it sort of erased any of the denial I had been experiencing in the days before. Your mind plays crazy games on you… maybe they got the MRI mixed up with someone else, cancer - that doesn’t happen to ME, only to someone’s step-mom’s cousin in Utah. I have a birthday party to plan in couple months, OMG my hair is going to fall out, I can't miss my daughter's wedding… seriously you can only imagine.
This past Tuesday I had a needle biopsy performed and after two painfully long days received the results of my biopsy. I am so happy to type I do NOT have cancer. My eyes fill with tears of joy and despair of what it could have been. This one hit way too close to home. Now I am still not out of the woods yet, I have another follow up appointment this week to see what my options are, I have already been warned that one of the options is major surgery that could put me out for 6-8 months, which will stink. But you know what, ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING will be better than what it could have been.
Side Note: I really debated whether or not to type about this on my blog (of all places), but I wanted to set the record straight and update you on what is going on in my life. Maybe you have had something similar happen to you or someone you know, maybe you can e-mail me and we can chat about it. The older I get, I am finding out that I am never alone, someone is/has/or will go through similar things I experience, maybe this is one of them. This is not going away overnight, so I will warn you now that you may see some more posts about this. In the mean time, go live your life, hug your baby a little tighter, tell you husband/wife that you love them, call your grandparents and tell them what you did this week (they would love it), take 10 minutes out of TODAY and do something you WANT to do. Life is too short to do anything else.
Some of you already know what I am going to type, you found our through me or from someone who thought it was their story to tell, some of you will be reading the details for the first time, I am sorry that I didn’t call you and tell you myself, but the thought making more than three calls having to tell this story over and over and tell you ‘I don’t know’ to all your questions, was and is too much to bear. So here I go.
Three weeks ago I made an appointment with my Dr. to discuss some pain I have been experiencing in my left knee. Back in high school I had two knee surgeries to remove loose bodies, so naturally I internally concluded this was the same issue, I would need a simple day surgery to have them removed, I would be out of commission for a couple days, and that would be it. My Dr. seemed to agree and referred me to the same Orthopedic Dr who performed my last two surgeries. The following week I had an appointment with the Orthopedic who reviewed my chart, felt around my knee cap, asked about my pain, which I described as a dull pain I would feel behind my knee cap when climbing stairs, sometimes when I walked, and definitely when I was shaking my groove thing with Miss. E in the living room.
He too had pretty much reached the same conclusion I had, but sent me for an x-ray just the same. So I moseyed on over to the next room and had some x-rays done. Went back into his room to review them (I have to chime in here and just comment on how awesome that is, instant x-rays!). So we sat there together and looked at the x-rays on the monitor. He kept zooming in on what looked like a ‘whiter’ spot on my bone. I asked ‘”what’s that?” to which he responded “I don’t know, but I am going to send you for an MRI so we can find out.” Still no reason to pull the alarm, so we scheduled the MRI for that Friday and scheduled a follow up to go over the MRI for the following week.
So the following week comes and next thing I know it’s time for my follow up appointment. I get out of bed the same way I do everyday, get ready, drop E off at daycare, my car breaks down in the driveway at daycare, I catch a ride in town with one of the Mom’s from daycare, and I am sitting at the Dr.’s office waiting for them to call my name. I sit there mad at my car, cursing my decision to wear shirt I put on, wondering whether or not I took the chicken out of the freezer before I left, how am I going to get home, and then they call my name.
I enter the same little room I was in before and the same Dr. comes in, looks at me and goes “why are you here”, haha not really, but I tell him and he logs on the computer and brings up my MRI. I am sitting beside the computer monitor and am trying to look at the screen out of the corner of my eye. Now, I am no bone doctor, but what I saw on that screen I knew… was not right and by the way he scratched his head and kept clicking on the screen, I knew the thought the same thing.
So I asked what any of you would have asked, ‘what is that?!’ what he responded with ripped the stomach out of my body and smacked me upside the face with a 2”X6”. “You have a tumor in your femur bone.” He went on to talk about the location of the tumor in my bone, biopsy, and then he used the “C” word... it's all fun and games until someone pulls out the "C" word. No, not that “C” word, jesh, you kiss your Momma with that mouth!! Cancer.
Just like that, done, D.O.N.E.. I was done. Checked out, bill please… Just like that, my world changed forever - cancer. In that split second I couldn’t have told you what I had on, what kind of car I drove (or didn’t drive) and if you asked me about supper I would have just stared at you totally blank. Cancer.
After I came back to, I heard the Dr. say that he was going to refer me to another Orthopedic in his office for a second opinion because to be quite frank, he said he hasn’t seem many of these. Gave me my papers and I walked out of the office. (yes, I made arrangements to get back to work and thankfully my Mom drove me home after work.)
I said this earlier, I am no Dr. but if I was, after telling a patient they have a tumor in their bone, I would immediately contact their internet service provider and insist on their internet connection be terminated until a proper diagnosis has been made. In a time like that, google + finger tips = the devil!
I had an appointment with the second Orthopedic who went over the MRI with me and gave me some more information. He did point out that the tumor had a nice black ‘wall’ around it, which indicated that it was slow growing and that cancerous tumors typically have ‘tentacles’ that reach out. Mine didn’t have any of that - phew! After seeing the MRI for the second time on the screen, it sort of erased any of the denial I had been experiencing in the days before. Your mind plays crazy games on you… maybe they got the MRI mixed up with someone else, cancer - that doesn’t happen to ME, only to someone’s step-mom’s cousin in Utah. I have a birthday party to plan in couple months, OMG my hair is going to fall out, I can't miss my daughter's wedding… seriously you can only imagine.
This past Tuesday I had a needle biopsy performed and after two painfully long days received the results of my biopsy. I am so happy to type I do NOT have cancer. My eyes fill with tears of joy and despair of what it could have been. This one hit way too close to home. Now I am still not out of the woods yet, I have another follow up appointment this week to see what my options are, I have already been warned that one of the options is major surgery that could put me out for 6-8 months, which will stink. But you know what, ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING will be better than what it could have been.
Side Note: I really debated whether or not to type about this on my blog (of all places), but I wanted to set the record straight and update you on what is going on in my life. Maybe you have had something similar happen to you or someone you know, maybe you can e-mail me and we can chat about it. The older I get, I am finding out that I am never alone, someone is/has/or will go through similar things I experience, maybe this is one of them. This is not going away overnight, so I will warn you now that you may see some more posts about this. In the mean time, go live your life, hug your baby a little tighter, tell you husband/wife that you love them, call your grandparents and tell them what you did this week (they would love it), take 10 minutes out of TODAY and do something you WANT to do. Life is too short to do anything else.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
First Best Friends
Most of my fondest memories growing up were created with a little help from my cousins. I am lucky in the sense that I have many cousins; in all age groups. I have some that are many years older than me, some are around my own age, and then I have some that are young enough to be my children. Cousins are the best!
Cousins made camping, snow days, summer vacations, Christmas, sleepovers, and Sunday school FUN! Ahhh, we had so much fun. My brothers and I grew up right down the road from some of our cousins, we did everything together, I don’t think I have a single memory from ages 5-12 where they were not in it. We lived on the same camp road and knowing that at any time of the day, they were willing to meet us half way, was awesome!
Many years later I find myself living, once again, on a camp road not far from my sister and brother-in-law and my niece and nephew, aka Miss. E's COUSINS!! Sweet Pea is getting to the age where she loves, loves, loves playing with all her cousins and now that she is upright and mobile, her cousins love, love, love to play with her. It is so fun to watch them play, it brings me back (ah-hem) many years ago when I would play with my cousins... I can't help but to smile when I think of the memories they will create in the years to come.
Cousins are the best!
Cousins made camping, snow days, summer vacations, Christmas, sleepovers, and Sunday school FUN! Ahhh, we had so much fun. My brothers and I grew up right down the road from some of our cousins, we did everything together, I don’t think I have a single memory from ages 5-12 where they were not in it. We lived on the same camp road and knowing that at any time of the day, they were willing to meet us half way, was awesome!
Many years later I find myself living, once again, on a camp road not far from my sister and brother-in-law and my niece and nephew, aka Miss. E's COUSINS!! Sweet Pea is getting to the age where she loves, loves, loves playing with all her cousins and now that she is upright and mobile, her cousins love, love, love to play with her. It is so fun to watch them play, it brings me back (ah-hem) many years ago when I would play with my cousins... I can't help but to smile when I think of the memories they will create in the years to come.
Cousins are the best!
They make the best play pals.
They are the best keepers of inside jokes.
They teach you new things.
They are encouraging.
They are there to give you that little push you need.
They are your best cheerleaders.
They are your first best friends.
Happy Sunday!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)