One of my best friends in the entire world delivered a bouncing baby boy two days ago. Yesterday I left work early and couldn’t get to the hospital fast enough to see her and meet him for the very first time. During my 20 minute drive I engaged myself in a little pep talk that went a little something like this… “Amy you are not going to leave there thinking you are going to want another baby, you’re NOT!
But if I was to get pregnant now, they would be almost two years apart. You can’t have another baby right now, my lord, think about it.
Baby E is eating real-people food now, and I don’t have to buy her formula anymore, I don’t care how cute he is, how good he smells, how adorable this little fingers and toes will be, you are not having another one right now”. Yeah, this went on for 20 minutes…
Once I got to the hospital and saw him for the first time, he was everything I knew he would be. Perfect! He had a perfect little round head, precious little hands and feet, and when you picked him up, his little legs curled under his body making him into this teeny tiny ball of human. And then I got a flash back!!
Flash backs of being totally and completely clueless, questioning my every decision and move! To give a pacifier or not to give a pacifier (trust me, that was a
HUGE source of anxiety for me), the late nights, will she sleep for two hours or four, do I wake her up if she sleeps longer than four? Should I take a shower now, or wait till someone can come over and watch her? I had an orange for breakfast do you think it was too acidic and that is why she keeps spitting up (I breast fed)? Is it against the law to let you baby sleep in a swing? What if it is the
ONLY place she will nap? She doesn’t like to cuddle, does that mean I am not nurturing her enough… I will stop there as I can feel my face getting red and my body starting to shake. Trust me; I was THAT 1st time Mom…
Everyone says that the second one is ‘so much easier’, labor wise and Mommy wise; as in you sort of have an idea what to expect and what you are doing, and I buy into that to a degree. During my Mommy journey thus far, I have found it to be the most rewarding, challenging, empowering, helpless, heart-warming, heart-wrenching, independent, dependent, assuring, and confusing adventure I have ever been on. And maybe with our next one that journey will have more pavement and less potholes, but I just don’t think we are ready for that next trip quite yet, we are just having way too much fun with the one we are on right now.
And because posts are better with pictures, here are some pictures I found the other day of my baby nephew who is now two and half, boy how fast time flies.
“Pssst, But Amy I think you are ready for that next one" – there is that damn voice again…